“This is the price of not doing assignments in school and for telling lies….”, words of my husband when he punished our grade five son, mocking him in full view of the passersby and of the children his age living in the area.
Three months ago, I asked my eldest son where are his examination results. He said, “at my teacher’s…” I did not push it as I believed that he was indeed telling the truth. Regular assignments are accomplished, school projects submitted ahead of time.
August, 2009 I was offered a job away from my children and my husband. He was left with the kids. He attended to all their needs. Getting up early to prepare breakfast, heat water for their bath, iron uniforms, wash clothes – everything! In short, my husband played father and mother at the same time to our children. And the relationship was all smooth. Simple fights with the children are nothing but natural.
Problem arises when my biological father came in to the picture. Before, my eldest son followed rules and submit to all orders. Now? Seldom. Why? Because it was the grandfather who do the tasks for him!
Is it fair? Of course it is not fair.
Few weeks ago my husband sent me a message through my mobile phone telling me that our child has not yet given the test results to him. I simply told him, “go and see the teacher..”
They have looked around. Digged up old files to look for the results. Where did they found it? At my son’s. He was keeping it all along.
Why did he have to do that? Why did he have to hide it? Plain and simple, his test results were a little low and he was afraid of being reprimanded. More so, getting a swat on his back.
His father felt disappointed but not angry. Until the teacher told him why his son do not have any assignments when she gave regular assignments to them.
That’s it! That was the end of it. No more discussions, no more explanations, no more reasoning out. His father was deaf to all of it.
When they reached home, minutes after changing to house clothes, my son was ordered to kneel down. At the balcony.
My heart bled when I heard about it. I couldn’t believe my husband was capable of doing it. He is a loving and long-tempered father. Very rational to his kids. He practiced democracy around the house.
I confronted him. I asked him why he had to humiliate my son! Painful tears running through my eyes endlessly.
Why I cried? Because I learned that my son never shed a tear while he was being punished. I knew he was hurting and humiliated. All eyes were upon him. But he never cried!
I can feel his pain. I am his mother and I knew what he was feeling right that very minute. I wished he had cried.
Was it pride? Maybe. But what if he harbored anger towards his father?
I prayed not.
After all the crying and the endless “whys?” my husband made me understood why he did what he did to our son.
He knew he made an injustice act to him and he regret it so much that it made him cry during the night. Asking himself too why his child did not cry. He should have cried. But he did not. And it scares him a little bit.
He abhor LYING!
Number one rule around the house: DO NOT TELL A LIE!
You get low scores. You punched your classmate who was bullying you. You lost your pen. You did not study for the quiz.
Just say it! Tell the truth and you are free. You will be scolded but you will not be punished if that worries you.
He spoke to his son. Heart to heart. Made him understood why he had punished him cruelly and asked him why he did what he did to him and my son replied, “I lied, Papa”.
Those words touched my husband, hugged his son and apologised to him.
Father and son reconciled.