Archive for the ‘Personal’ Category

The irony of lying!

“This is the price of not doing assignments in school and for telling lies….”, words of my husband when he punished our grade five son, mocking him in full view of the passersby and of the children his age living in the area.

Three months ago, I asked my eldest son where are his examination results. He said, “at my teacher’s…” I did not push it as I believed that he was indeed telling the truth. Regular assignments are accomplished, school projects submitted ahead of time.

August, 2009 I was offered a job away from my children and my husband. He was left with the kids. He attended to all their needs. Getting up early to prepare breakfast, heat water for their bath, iron uniforms, wash clothes – everything! In short, my husband played father and mother at the same time to our children. And the relationship was all smooth. Simple fights with the children are nothing but natural.

Problem arises when my biological father came in to the picture. Before, my eldest son followed rules and submit to all orders. Now? Seldom. Why? Because it was the grandfather who do the tasks for him!  

Is it fair? Of course it is not fair.

Few weeks ago my husband sent me a message through my mobile phone telling me that our child has not yet given the test results to him. I simply told him, “go and see the teacher..”

They have looked around. Digged up old files to look for the results. Where did they found it? At my son’s. He was keeping it all along.

Why did he have to do that? Why did he have to hide it? Plain and simple, his test results were a little low and he was afraid of being reprimanded. More so, getting a swat on his back.

His father felt disappointed but not angry. Until the teacher told him why his son do not have any assignments when she gave regular assignments to them.

That’s it! That was the end of it. No more discussions, no more explanations, no more reasoning out. His father was deaf to all of it.

When they reached home, minutes after changing to house clothes, my son was ordered to kneel down. At the balcony.

My heart bled when I heard about it. I couldn’t believe my husband was capable of doing it. He is a loving and long-tempered father. Very rational to his kids. He practiced democracy around the house.

I confronted him. I asked him why he had to humiliate my son! Painful tears running through my eyes endlessly.

Why I cried? Because I learned that my son never shed a tear while he was being punished. I knew he was hurting and humiliated. All eyes were upon him. But he never cried!

I can feel his pain. I am his mother and I knew what he was feeling right that very minute. I wished he had cried.

Was it pride? Maybe. But what if he harbored anger towards his father?

 I prayed not.

After all the crying and the endless “whys?” my husband made me understood why he did what he did to our son. 

He knew he made an injustice act to him and he regret it so much that it made him cry during the night. Asking himself too why his child did not cry. He should have cried. But he did not. And it scares him a little bit.

He abhor LYING!

Number one rule around the house: DO NOT TELL A LIE!

You get low scores. You punched your classmate who was bullying you. You lost your pen. You did not study for the quiz. 

Just say it! Tell the truth and you are free. You will be scolded but you will not be punished if that worries you.

He spoke to his son. Heart to heart. Made him understood why he had punished him cruelly and asked him why he did what he did to him and my son replied, “I lied, Papa”.

Those words touched my husband, hugged his son and apologised to him.

Message sent.

Father and son reconciled.


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And she bid goodbye….

“What if your greatest mistake is your greatest happiness? Would you stand to correct it or just live to regret it?

Love is something we people care and treasure about. It is something that just flourish out of nowhere. You don’t ask for it, nor seek it. It just come right through us!

A young woman asked, is it possible for a woman to fall in love again despite being married and have children?

I said…nah! that’s impossible. It maybe not love but just lust! How can be a married woman fall inlove to another guy? Not to a married one huh? but to a man who has no strings attached upon his shoulders.

And it happened! She has fallen inlove to this man and it was so wonderful. They played good music together, laughed and cried together. Cherished everything that they had for she knew theirs is just a borrowed one. A borrowed time and a borrowed love.

Or it is really borrowed?

This is a very hurting question indeed. He want it to become permanent. She want it and not want it.

Very complicated.

Her greatest fear is she will lost her children in the process once the relationship will come out. He doesn’t care. He is willing to take on the responsibilites of becoming the father to her kids. But she knew that will never be the case.

The father of her children will turn their world upside-down and fight to the end.

Is she willing to take the risk? NO!

Now, the relationship has ended. She made it end. The pain is so unimaginable. He wouldn’t let go. Begging not to. But she stood on her ground, wavered a little but she stood for it.

She cried and cried.

He is her happiness and she would live to regret it.

For a lifetime? She hoped not.

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